Can I send a letter to a destination where it will never land upon?
Can I let the recipient know that my emotions are all over the place?
How will I let anyone understand how my mind is on a whirlwind?
Does anyone even know what I am facing right now?
That I feel scared.
Lost.
Numb.
Surreal.
AndIdon’tknowwhatishappeninginsidemeandsurroundingme.
And some more.
An array of confusion, that aching silent sob, pain in a shape I can’t exactly figure out, nor do I want so.
I am just gritting my teeth.
And I am praying. With my desperate hand gesture, with my tangled mess, with a paradoxical paranoia, with anything, with nothing.
I so wish to disappear right now.
To not get tangled with more lives, then some more lives. To not mess up anyone and anything any further.
Now I know why Hazrat Abu Bakr (RA) said, “By Allah, I wish I were a tree that would be cut and done away with.”
Now I know why Hazrat Maryam (AS) cried out, “Alas! I wish I had died before this, and was a thing long forgotten!” [Quranic Transliteration 19:23]
Now I know why Mirza Ghalib agonized in pain, “Why doesn’t death come, Ghalib? …. How many days must I live to die one day?”
19.06.26
Bushra Tasnim
bushrawriteshere 